Monday 24 September 2012

Puree's, Porridge and Painkillers

What is the universe trying to tell me?
Ben arrived home last Wed morning  (yay!)  and we had planned to have friends for dinner, spend the weekend with Cooper (my stepson),  and enjoy a couple of outings with the kids.  I also hoped to get my hair done (so many greys) and sneak down to Ocean Grove for a surf (my first in over a year).
Wednesday after I'd been to training Ben had noticed that our lovely Poodles the chook and Neville the rooster were missing.  Oh no!  (that was not a sarcastic oh no! but a real "can't be true, I'm still missing my dog not the chooks as well, Oh No!"  But "Oh Yes", our beloved Poodles and Neville and their shiny bright feathers and perfectly formed eggs (Poodles not Nevilles) were gone.
The next day after kinder and a run around the lake with my husband, (our first ever run together, I was so stoked).  It was my hardest run ever actually.  Usually the last 2kms is sheltered, not on Thursday, I had  a strong head on wind blowing the pusher back into me and the last kilometer took everything I had. I wanted to stop so many times and kept talking myself out of it anyway got there and later in the day after a cuppa and thinking about dinner I experienced abdominal pains similar to those in child birth! ( I was checked by the Dr and it was hopefully a one off) however it caused me to black out and hit both my head and chin while cracking my jaw.  Oooops! I tell you my darling husband misses a lot of events while working away from home but thankfully he was home for this.  I got fixed up and now apart from sleeping a lot and being limited to eating purees and soups I'm quite fine.
 However I'm wondering what have I done?  Why my dog, my chickens and my jaw!?  I'm still trying to work that one out and I know these moments of bad luck are nothing compared to what some families and/or individuals are going through but still is there a lesson in this for me??x

Weekend thoughts...

School holidays Hooray!!  Our plans these holidays have already flown out the window and the weekend has flown buy in a haze of pain killers and pureed soup.
 My beautiful man is home and it's been lovely although I feel guilty as I've really done nothing accept stare at the fridge and drop my lip.  I've been a hermit since Thursday night and am beginning to feel blaa...  I think this afternoon will be a trip to the veggie shop and then hire a dvd for tonight.  Two more sleeps until Ben returns to work and it is quite normal for me to start feeling quietly anxious and regretful (Did we do enough?  Did I tell Ben I love him enough?  Did I put in enough effort?  Are there any jobs that need doing?  How will I cope when I wake and he's gone?) Yes, Yes,  Yes, One and same as usual snap out of it and ENJOY it Jodes!
 Tomorrow we are meeting friends at the Werribee Open Range Zoo it shall be a fun day,  fresh air and smiles and hopefully  undisrupted sunshine.  I'm really looking forward to it lots of holding hands and kids yelling out in delight also we will hopefully have time to visit my new niece and sisters on the way home.
  For now though the children are with Daddy out on the newest addition to our home, the Tyre swing!!  Its creating a lot of laughter in our backyard at the moment even though when I look out there from the deck I can see the empty Chook pen...sob sob...another job for the school holidays after I accept our loss.  I am such a sook, I know.  Any how the tyre swing is attached to a very very long rope from a very very high tree and gets A LOT of air!!  We actually had to chop another tree to allow for this massive air!!
In the cracked jaw department I've had no Pain Killers today and I managed to chew very carefully three piklets and they were amazing, overdosed in Maple Syrup and cream (I had no luck chewing strawberries) and even my husband commented on how good they were...No sugar honey, woo hoo!!

 To make them the children threw in half a bowl of Wholemeal Plain flour (say 4 cups), 2 tsp Bi-Carb, 3 tblsp Chia seeds, 1 1/2 tsp cinnamon, 1 Vanilla bean, Two eggs and milk  (roughly 2 1/2cups) until a nice consistency.  Yummo quick and easy lemon squeezey!xx





Sunday 23 September 2012

Beginnings and Endings

8am last week driving along to kinder chatting about ballet concerts and plans for the day and I realize I cannot keep my eyes on the road.  I'm scanning either side my heart beating faster each time I notice a dark shadow or log in the long grass.  Suddenly in between Ballet something and  "do we have snacks?" tears begin falling....Will Heid's make back it home?......
Turning Julia up on the radio to drown out my sniffles I continue driving and searching, a part of me saying "this is ridiculous" and the other saying "she has to come back she cannot of just gone!?"....
I remember the morning Ben brought that cute little puppy home to our little rental at Ocean Grove, a tiny little black puppy quite unexpected yet instant love, our little family of one dog now becoming two.  It was quickly decided that her name be Heidi, she was always hiding in funny places.  That seems so long ago, before children, weddings and mortgages.  Our time then was divided between working long hours, surfing and dreaming with our black smiling dogs all while being in love. 
So so much has changed since then our dreams are becoming our reality and we are growing older and wiser, that life and lifestyle along with our beautiful dogs are now happy memories that we share.  It was mine and Ben's beginnings and those beautiful dogs that shared it are now loving memories too....x












Wednesday 12 September 2012

A little dark hole....

It had been two weeks since my last workout and I was chomping at the bit!!  Sunday we went for a 2km jog, the girls on bikes and Mr Spaghetti in the pusher it was a beautiful day and so nice to be getting some vitamin D...finally.  Afterwards a play at the park  and quick catch-up with friends while I drooled over those able to jog freely for as long as they desired.
Monday was finally the day!!  The children were healthy and the car running smoothly and so of to kinder and then time to run....I was so keen and ready to improve on my time...bring it on!
6km later and a slight feeling of nausea  mixed with elation and I was on cloud nine, best time ever and proud as punch.
This run however symbolized a lot more than just running better, faster.  My weekend consisted of an overdrive in hormones resulting in feelings of blue and grey, that mixed with the realization that my dog is missing and that my son needed to be put to bed roughly twenty-eight times.  I NEEDED this run and I new that I could climb out of that hole at the bottom of the hill and get back to the top!!!  And there I was QUEEN OF THE MOUNTAIN!!! (I allow myself an enlarged ego directly after a run!)
 Challenge yourself, push yourself, If your unhappy with a a part of yourself  or your life CHANGE IT,  It may take a couple of weeks, a year or seven attempts to get to the first step of your goal, but if you continue to remind yourself of your goals and why you want to reach them,  keep inspiring yourself let others inspire you, have gentle reminders and be okay with failing, I believe its trying again that's the real test....Dont give up, GET TO THE TOP OF YOUR MOUNTAIN!!.x


Up close....

Sometimes In true Piscean form I want to withdraw from the world and hide
Sometimes I am much to sensitive to the people around me and I hurt deep inside
Sometimes I get so frustrated that others are wasting there energy and influence with negativity
Sometimes I feel so alone and vulnerable that I cry and long for my husbands embrace
Sometimes I miss that embrace so much that I withdraw from communication while he's away
Sometimes I wish others would see me as quite simply whats in front of them
Sometimes I shy away from compliments and I hope that does not offend
Sometimes I look at a stranger and whisper to myself..."bless them"
Sometimes I am so affected by an unexpected smile
Sometimes I feel so proud that my insides want to burst out
Sometimes I love so much that a tear comes to my eye...x


Monday 3 September 2012

Sunny Days

Happy Fathers day (for yesterday)  to all of the dads out there.
 We had a beautiful sunshine filled day at home spent with my Dad, Sister and brother in law and of course my three cuties (unfortunately Mum and Ben were at work).  We enjoyed a light lunch, bush walk, lots of catching up and the kids played very excitedly with Aunty Laura and Auncle Sam, everything from Barbies and throwing rocks into the dam to an hours play on the Trampoline while dad and I tackled the lawns.  We finished of the day with scones jam and cream.  Its these moments that Ben and I cherish, it's why we bought our block of land, we can come home and chillout, no need to be entertained, you can wonder and be with your thoughts or laugh as loud and excitedly as your lungs will allow and its okay.
 Scarlett and I planted some seeds in the veggie garden earlier, Spring onions, Cos, Rocket lettuce and Carrot seeds and we noticed our Radish seeds are beginning to pop through, we're all very excited by this and are hoping to improve on last years "beginners" crop or lack of.  The chickens are also looking well, Poodles the black fluffy one should resume laying soon and Neville the rooster is looking glorious and shiny strutting his stuff around the yard, we shall  be purchasing some new chicks in the coming weeks to replace those we lost last year.
I'm hoping everyone has had a marvelous week we were luckily enough to, of course welcoming Spring with open arms was easy and glorious, we felt the need to celebrate with french toast and berries (Miss S couldn't believe we were eating "french" food, exclaiming  that we were eating what people in other countries are eating!.....adorable), and of course celebrating the arrival of a new bub...ahhh. Also this week our car has been (unexpectedly) at the mechanics the past week and although I was heavily disappointed to miss training and  meet my little niece it has been a wonderful sunny week to stay at home and hangout.  Speaking of training as well as  missing Wednesdays session I missed today's run, I have done some core training (of which I'm supposed to be doing every 3rd day at least...oooops!), It's another challenge I'm taking part in through Fitness Food and Style although  I haven't given it 100% I'm probably managing 3 work-outs a week however it's not the complete Killer Core and Cardio routine that Jackie at Crabtree fitness organised for us .  I want to take this seriously and I will hopefully get back on track by allocating specific time for this.
Two other challenges that  I'd mentioned in earlier posts were the sugar challenge and also to cut down on my spending. I managed the latter quite sucesfully  and I'm enthusiastic to keep going  although  a change in the season means a change in wardrobe!  The Sugar Challenge was a great success and I'm now reaping the following benefits:

 1.  My energy levels are balanced, I'm no longer falling in a heap at 6.30pm and no longer having "tired and         grumpy" moments
2.  I'm going to bed earlier each night.
3.  I'm falling asleep without a struggle.
4.  I've created healthier eating habits.
5. Am generally more energetic which was ultimatley my goal!!
Good night and Happy Spring to you all. x




Saturday 1 September 2012

Spring has Sprung!

I never mean't to have such a break in between posts and I've never felt stuck for anything to say in this blog so far, until recently....I think I was just quietly content, enjoying a comfortable silence.
Ben is of course back at work and we enjoyed such a warm sunny day one of three in the past weeks, blossom on the trees, our radish seedlings are sprouting, the birds are singing every morning, the sun...oh that glorious sun I LOVE YOU! and most recently and so excitingly I have a new niece Malia!!!  I'm so so excited and what a perfect time of year to be born, she is one day old today.
 Love Spring and also Summer, Autumn and Winter the beginning of a new season means change to our eating, style and activities, it changes our perspectives on our surroundings, living in the bush amongst the gumtrees I love to watch the changing colours and textures around us It's so inspiring to me and definately puts a smile on my dial.
This morning the kids have played tea sets, cubby's and block cities with basket/pipe cleaner semi trailers carting the blocks around the house.  I love seeing them play in this way and I'm so excited that my niece Iluka now has a best buddy to grow and play with, you just cannot beat it...joy.
 This afternoon the children and I are going to get muddy in the garden, there is SOO much to do out there but rather than get frazzled I will look beyond the overgrown grass, felled trees that need stacking and sticks and bark to be raked and I will do little by little and enjoy the fresh air and beautiful surroundings.  Another mission we have in the garden is to fill up the sand pit and improve the kids play area with a swing, mud kitchen and gravel pit for the trucks...we will get there.  I will post photo's of before and after, am yet to improve my skills in those areas, I shall one day have beautifully shot photo's with amazing light and juxtaposed objects!